A dim young man replied to an advert seeking volunteers for scientific research. The chief scientist, explaining they were trying to find the results of a meeting between a man and a female gorilla, asked, "Are you willing for $5,000?"

"Certainly," replied the volunteer. "But with three conditions. One, I want an armed man in the cage with us, in case things turn out nasty. Two, to make the gorilla more sexy, I would like her to wear lipstick. Three, can I pay by three installments?"